Friday, May 18, 2012

Hopeful Expansion...

In November 2011, we were very excited to learn that we were pregnant again.  I went to the doctor and even got in right away to get my thyroid levels checked as I was instructed.  I had some lab work done and two days later I had a miscarriage.  When I went in to see my doctor he told me that my lab results showed a very low progesterone level meaning I didn't have a healthy pregnancy.  It was such a heartbreaking thing to go through.  Even though it had only been a few weeks, we were so excited about having another baby.  It was just not something that we had expected, not that anyone thinks to expect that.  It was very hard physically to be reminded of what was happening for those next couple weeks, but even worse emotionally to know that we had lost the pregnancy.  I was assured that it didn't mean anything was wrong with me or that I didn't do anything wrong, and was probably just a chromosomal abnormality.  We spent a lot of time praying and asking God to heal our hearts.  I think that God was trying to tell me that I just needed to stop trying to plan everything and focus my trust in Him and what He had planned for us. 

At the beginning of March we found out that we are pregnant again.  We went to the doctor and had lab work done again. Waiting to get the results seemed like forever.  I had this terrible fear that everything was going to happen like it did last time.  I finally got the call and my labs looked good but my progesterone was a little lower than where they wanted it to be.  They put me on progesterone supplements to help increase my levels and wanted to check my levels every week.  I was at ease a little more.  Then one night we went out to eat and I started having some strange pains and thought it was a gas bubble.  I went to the bathroom to discover that I was bleeding.  I immediately thought it was all happening again and my heart just started breaking.  It was a Friday night so I called the on call nurse and they told me to take it easy until Monday.  It seemed to get better as I lay in bed but then happened again Monday.  I had a doctor's appointment that afternoon to see what was going on.  I was so convinced that it was another miscarriage.  They did an ultrasound and said that they did see a fetal pole but it was still probably only about 5 weeks into the pregnancy.  I was told to continue to take it easy and come back the next week for my regular appointment.  We of course did A LOT of praying and told our family and close friends and asked for their prayers.  At my next appointment they did lab work and everything showed that everything was progressing as it should and had an ultrasound that showed the little flicker for the heartbeat.  I was relieved but still uneasy.  I continued to get my labs every week and my progesterone has continued to increase.  I have had a couple more ultrasounds since then and have enjoyed seeing the little developing baby.  I am now 13 weeks and 3 days.  Our next appointment is set for June 6th where we will hopefully find out if we are having a boy or a girl!  We are soooo thankful that everything has turned out to be going well so far.  We continue to pray that this pregnancy is normal and that the baby is healthy.  I think Victor has a more positive outlook that everything is good but I still worry every little pain I feel and have fears of something going wrong.  I know I need to leave it all in God's hands and trust in Him, but worry is still inevitable.  We are so thankful for all He has blessed us with in our lives and are so thankful to have our precious Ava.  We know that this baby will be every bit as precious as she is!



Ultrasound at 7 weeks, 1 day.  The little rice krispy is the baby!

Ultrasound at 9 weeks, 1 day.  You can see the baby's little arms developing.  Isn't God AMAZING?!?